Lost

As I sit here all day; day in and day out, I try to grasp what it’s all about. Thoughts and dreams are all locked within; no longer can I tell a joke and grin. I try to remember how it used to be, but most of the time I don’t know what I see. I can remember things from when I was young, but when I look at you I don’t know where you’re from. The hurt, the pain I see in your eyes makes, me want to hide and cry. I know you must’ve meant the world to me and try as I might I don’t recall how that can be. My mind is so muddled with memories from the past, but I can’t seem to find the thoughts I need fast. I vaguely catch glimpses of you and I, but they seem to disappear in the blink of an eye. You say you’re my daughter, this must be true, but I can’t seem to remember anything of you. I know it hurts, I know the pain. I can’t remember my daughter, am I still sane? I want to shout, shake my hand up at God, but then I forget and I feel odd. Sometimes I forget how to tie my shoes or why I’m stuck here in this room. This isn’t my home, this isn’t my room; why am I here in this building of gloom? What is wrong, so wrong with me that I can’t remember who I see? I look in the mirror and I don’t seem old, but I’m in my eighties is what I am told. I’m sorry I hurt you when you come around; I really don’t like to see your painful frown. I guess at one time I loved you more than life itself, but now all those memories are hidden on a shelf: deep in my mind is where they lie and no longer can I grasp them and it makes you cry. My mind is a curse that everyone can see. Please when I go think of how I used to be. Don’t see me as I am now, but remember when I placed a kiss on your brow; when you ran to me with scraps and boo-boos and I kissed away the pain and always loved you.